|
|
Cocaine's
Effect
on the Body and the Brain--
"Why treatment is usually required."
Note to the reader: This section
begins with a letter from a friend who is concerned about abusing cocaine and is
looking for help. In
writing my response, I am trying to assist the individual and, at the same
time, provide information for a more general audience seeking information
about addiction--Floyd Else, Webmaster.
Question: Hi, I am seeking an online program for cocaine abuse. I need it to be
discreet. I have never been in a rehab and I never intend to be, however I have a cocaine
problem and desperately would like some help to help me figure out how I can
overcome this addiction. "George" ***
|
*** Not his real name.
I am a retired chemical dependency
treatment counselor and retired licensed mental health counselor. I
begin with these words to assure you that I not a part owner in any in any
treatment or recovery program. I am answering from my experience with
addicts and with my gut feelings.
I hear your need to be discreet,
and hope that you can achieve this and still recover from your addiction.
However, I do not think that an online cocaine treatment program will be of
any use to you. Face to face, live participation in a group setting is
an experience you need to have. You will benefit from sharing your
addiction and recovery history with other addicts. Most important, when
you tell your own story and make your excuses, the experienced addicts in the
group can "call you on your bull-shit" and help you face the reality of your
situation for the first time.
I do support the idea of educating
yourself online or by reading one or two of the more recent books on cocaine
addiction. Don't bother to read the old books from the 1970s or 1980s.
In the beginnings of cocaine's most recent invasion, authors often called
cocaine the ideal "rich man's drug" --that cocaine was expensive, but didn't
impair your functioning and was not addictive. No one believes that any more.
In the beginning.
The speed with which one becomes addicted has progressed as the techniques
for using it have changed. Snorting cocaine was bad enough, but when they
began to make it in a form that could be smoked, the drug goes directly to the
brain in seconds. Mainlining or "shooting up" cocaine was even more addictive
and carried the additional risk of HIV infection and AIDS from shared needles
or works.
I have only worked with addicts for 19 or 20 years and so I don't feel
that I know everything about recovery, but I have learned a lot. First,
I can not tell from your brief letter, whether you are in an early stage of
addiction with a life that is still fairly intact and functional. You may
still have a job and a relationship--perhaps a family.
If so, you have
not yet learned just how bad the addiction will become or how much it will
take from your life. Because of this, you still want to avoid any action
that would let others know about your problem. This in turn, keeps you
from using the resources that are closest to you, most easily available, and
most likely to be effective.
When I think of your situation it
make my heart ache and brings tears to my eyes. I have known so many really
likeable people who were undergoing treatment for cocaine addiction.
Clean and sober they are just as intelligent, charming and likeable as anyone
in the general population. And I have eagerly wished for their complete recovery.
Treatment can help.
I would highly recommend that you get in touch with an addictions
counselor in your area and get a referral to addiction treatment.
Generally addiction counselors will try the least restrictive techniques
first, so that would probably mean an outpatient treatment program.
If you fail at that level then inpatient treatment would be required. But you
need to act quickly while your life is reasonably intact and you are still able to pay
for or finance treatment!
Whatever the treatment technique,
studies have shown that the longer the total treatment time the more effective
the treatment will be. Withdrawal from cocaine is commonly
associated with deep depression which usually hits about 28 days after last
use (and every 28 days or so thereafter to a lessening degree). Any
cocaine addict knows that the easiest way to escape depression is to use
cocaine. The addict completes a 28 day inpatient treatment
program, becomes deeply depressed and relapses. You really need the
continued structure and support of an outpatient treatment at this
point to avoid relapse--and perhaps a prescribed antidepressant medication.
Failures in recovery.
However, like many addictions, cocaine is
a very tricky substance to kick. In the beginning it is stimulating,
energizing and altogether pleasant. How could anything this good be bad for
you? People frequently use cocaine in concert with sexual activity and
you get the double high of sex and cocaine. Afterwards the thought of
sex without cocaine seems rather boring.
Often men discover that
cocaine is a great way to get sex. Tell the female cocaine addict that you
have some cocaine to share and they are ready to go to bed to get their
cocaine high. After pursuing this path for some time, the recovering addict
often finds he not only does not enjoy sex without cocaine, but he doesn't
know how to get sex without cocaine.
Often the men that I worked with
in addiction treatment who were entirely willing to give up cocaine use, would
still try to figure out how they could get the benefits of cocaine without
using it themselves. They worked out these clever but unsuccessful plans where
they will still buy and sell cocaine, but not use it themselves. This way they
will still have the money and the sex without the pain and problems that using
cocaine has brought to their lives. I have known a number of men who have
tried this unsuccessfully. They buy and sell the drug and use it to get
material possessions, sex and to exercise power over others. However,
invariably there comes a time when they use again, and rapidly resume their
decent into addiction.
Of course in the latter stages of
addiction, sex ceases to be a factor. The addict wants the drug and is
unwilling to share it with anyone else.
You should avoid alcohol use in
recovery because alcohol use lowers your inhibitions and is a frequent factor
in the relapse process. You get intoxicated and think, "This is not the high I
want. I want some...(cocaine, heroin, methamphetamine)...to get the high I
want and need."
The recovering addict says, "I
know that in my recovery I am supposed to avoid those who use drugs and hang
out with people who are clean and sober; but I don't know anyone who doesn't
drink or drug."
Part of the increasing dysfunction of drug
addiction involves moving away from social situations and people who do not
use drugs and toward frequent participation in situations that involve drugs
and other addicts. In recovery, when you try to hang out with clean and
sober people, you may find that you feel awkward and anxious (a little drink
or drug would sure help you relax.) This is the difficult time to get
through--learning to live again without drinking or drugging.
Even when
men have lost their business, wives and children; even when they have lost
shelter, health and self-respect, they keep trying to figure out how to get
the positive part of drug use without the negative part. The same is true
whether the drug is cocaine, heroin or methamphetamines.
Recovery requires new
thinking and coping skills.
Recovery from addiction requires
you to learn new thinking habits. Self-talk or internal dialogue can
tempt you to use: "Just once wouldn't hurt anything," is probably the most
frequent relapse thought. Right after that comes, "No one will ever
know!" Of course you can not resume regular use until you use that
first time, and once you relapse, everyone knows.
To succeed
in recovery, one needs to learn new coping techniques to achieve physical and
emotional needs that have been habitually met by drug use. How can you meet
women without having drugs in your possession? How can you have friends or a
social life without drugs? Learning clean and sober social skills is a real
challenge.
I have always encouraged my clients to make use of anonymous
12-step programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous and Narcotics
Anonymous. For some, it is very easy to participate in 12 step programs
and to develop new friend and to participate in clean and sober activities.
For others in early recovery,
participation in 12-step programs can be much more difficult. They may be less
trusting and unwilling to share with other. Perhaps they had fewer social
skills to begin with. But the 12 Step programs offer much more than
meetings. In some areas 12 step groups sponsor camp outs, volleyball
tournaments, hikes, softball games, social dances and many other
activities. These provide opportunities to regain social confidence in a
safe environment.
Gradually the person in recovery can develop a
widening circle of friends through work, church or other activities.
Many find that heavy involvement in 12 step activities gradually begins to
drop off after a year or two as the person progresses in their recovery and
their support network enlarges. However, many others build such deep
friendships within the recovering population that continued participation in
group activities is rich and rewarding.
Best wishes,
Floyd Else, MA, LMHC, NCC, MAC Webmaster.
|
George responds:
"First I would like to say thank you for your reply. It was as if the
web page was an insert out of my life. Though I have been a heavy user
for ten years now lost everything I own, my family, pretty much
anything that meant anything to me. I tried to reach out to a friend
whom is a counselor but that got me landed in jail looking at life in
prison. Made bail, hired a lawyer and consumed the rest of my financial
resources."
"I now have made a comeback and seems that the everything monetarily I
lost is coming back, however so too is my long time friend, Cocaine. I
have thought about seeing a doctor and getting on a 1 to 4 week
regiment of dopamine, and noradrenalin to try to fight off the beast.
What in your professional opinion do you think? The finding a counselor
option is not one. So, I must find something that will work or else I
should just quit altogether."
|
Dear George:
If by "I should just quit altogether," you are
referring to stopping your cocaine use, then I would agree. If you mean,
"I should just quit trying," then I would say, "get off the pity pot."
Lots of people have had their lives temporarily
destroyed by cocaine and they have gotten off the crap and gotten their lives
together. You can do it too, but you need to be tough. To quit cocaine for
good you need to recognize that while once cocaine was a source of pleasure, it
now is your master and your enemy. You must be willing to do anything that
you need to do to get free of it. You are not in that space yet, though I
hope you make it. You began your inquiry with the flat statement, "I have
never been in a rehab and I never intend to be." Recognize that for what it
is--you are saying that you are not willing to consider a treatment program to
get free of the drug.
By all means, if you fee that dopamine and
noradrenalin would help you get off cocaine, see a doctor who is knowledgeable
about addictions and see what he would prescribe for you. To me it makes
no difference HOW you achieve success, only that you ARE successful and quit
using cocaine.
However, the more techniques you use at the same
time, the more likely they will reinforce each other and contribute to your
eventual success. In addition to your medication, attend and participate
in Narcotics Anonymous Meetings or Cocaine Anonymous Meetings. Find
support from others in recovery. If using medication doesn't do the job
for you, then I urge you to continue the anonymous group meetings and try
conventional chemical dependency treatment.
I can not understand how contacting a friend who
was a counselor could have caused you to end up in jail. Some big part of
the story is missing. Tell me about it.
I care.
FE
George responds:
Since you would like to know the rest of the
story I will tell you. I knew this woman all my life--even considered
marrying her. Lost touch with her for five years. Went back home to get
my life together. Went to a home town ball game and ran into her
sister-in-law who told me she was counseling at a near by town.
I went to see her. She was
excited to see me and I her. Keeping in mind I had been using about 5
grams a day for the past 6 months I was suffering from severe withdraws.
I left to go to the family farm house where I found a bottle of old
scotch I had left two years earlier from a trip home, also found a
pistol I had. Really just wanting to end it all after having one too
many I got in my car and went to find her. I called her on the phone
and asked her to come see me. At first she said no but of coarse I
didn't take no, I kept after her. She said if she came that I would have
to go on the record, as she is an on call crisis counselor.
I joked and said, "What you
have to get paid now to talk to me." I agreed to see her the next day
after refusing to take the number she gave me. I poured myself
another drink got ready to go home when she appeared. I had told
her earlier I was having trouble with my memory. I also told her during
our phone conversation I had found some boots I lost and that I found my
pistol. She gets into my car and I showed her my boots and the gun.
About that time she spots
her husband driving up the street and tells me to drive. He almost hits
me as I try to turn from the drive of the store I was at before getting
on the road. Something in me told me something was wrong. Before
making the turn to the road I stopped the car and asked her if she
wanted out. She replied “No, drive,” so I did.
After getting on the road I
stopped again and asked her. She kept telling me to drive. I drive
5 blocks to a grocery store parking lot and stop when I see reds and
blue. They swoop down on me and drag me from my car. As I am laying on
the ground I see her go running up to her husband and say, Oh my god
what have you done.”
After they get through
kicking and beating me they searched me and found my pistols. See the
person that brought her to see me was an off-duty sheriff that she knew.
I was taken to jail and booked for kidnapping and unlawful possession of
a firearm. I have yet to speak except at the booking desk when they
asked if I had a permit for the pistols and that it could all be a huge
mistake. I said “YA! Said I did have a permit, and that was all I said.
I was held the maximum of 48
hours before being charged. They dropped the weapons charge and charged
me with Aggravated Kidnapping with a deadly weapon, and set my
bail at 250,000.00 thousand dollars cash. I asked why so much being as I
had never been arrested before. They said get a bail hearing.
Being mistreated in jail I
had just given up when my mother went out and got me a high powered
attorney costing 75,000.00 dollars. I sat in jail for 31 days being
mistreated by jailers. Finally got a bail hearing they set bail three
times higher than I said I could afford which I figured they would do.
Made bail. Held me 1 hour and a half after making bail and even called
the judge from the jail and tried to get my bond revoked.
I got out. I turned
down 3 deals by DA. Day before going to trial I see my attorney and
asked what his plan was to get me off, saying to him that I knew the law
was not about the truth but more about what can be proved. He says to me
his plan is to try and get me 30 years.
I had already told my mom
and my attorney that I would never see the inside of another jail sell.
I would die first. See I was afraid that if I went to the pen I would
have to kill someone just to protect myself and that terrified me. I
asked my attorney to call the DA back and ask for the deal I had talked
about that same day with my attorney. He said there are no deals. I said
call anyway. He did.
I got a deal I could
stomach, which was ten years probation--all of which because the woman
stated in the police report I did ask her if she wanted out. So
something about I released her in a safe place, keeps me from having to
do life in prison if I some how fail probation.
So I know the police lie, I
know counselors lie, I know that when asking someone for help the first
time in my life I got screwed. I had told her I had been using large
amounts. I even asked her if what we talked about would be kept
confidential. I was set up.
Now I don't trust anyone
when it comes to bearing the soul.
I am a published author,
with a new book hitting the shelf in six to eight weeks. I just got back
into consulting which pays me very, very well.
Since not being able to get
work for a year and a half I had been devastated financially. My son
died 16 years ago. My daughter (15) after hearing about my arrest now
wants to be adopted and says she never wants to see me again. It has
been two years now since I saw her last. So I truly have lost
everything.
Now making a comeback, all
the wealth I am experiencing has brought back old habits. I was clean
for a several years, didn't have the money for drugs. Plus most of my
best writing came while I was in an altered state. I don't want that
drug life anymore and I am not a daily user. I was at one time, when I
got bad.
Before that I was always a
binge user going months without using till my bottom when I went to
using 5 to 6 grams a day.
I had figured, since I tried
to take my life years ago and didn't get the job done, I would slowly
kill myself by poisoning my body with chemicals. Maybe somewhere
deep down I still want to go be with my son. I used to think of
death daily though now only sometimes.
Rehab means being locked
away. I can't deal with that. Not being able to go when I want to go
drives me insane. Plus I don't trust, which makes it worse. And
now being on probation means they could send me away for 30 years if
they get a whiff of any drug use. The police whom arrested me harass me
all the time.
Part of my deal was leaving and going back to my life on the East Coast.
I went back and saw friends I had and knew if I stayed I would end up
back where I had been. I packed up and came home, hence the harassment
by the cops. However, before leaving the east coast, I smoked Cocaine a
few times. Since having been back home I have smoked about four times
including tonight, which I guess is the reason for my rambling on. I
know if I continue cocaine will kill me and, if the drug don't I will at
some point.
I
know sir I need help before it gets out of hand which is the reason I
started looking for something on-line.
I
also know you can not help me and I am very apologetic for having laid
this story on you, however you did ask for the whole story. Now you have
it.
It
is like I am floating in space with nowhere to turn now. Financially I
am now making a serious comeback. I see what could be mine and I also
know where I could end up if my behavior continues on this track. I
don't want to be a train wreck but after having read your reply about
the rehab I guess as smart as I am some things are just meant to be. If
that is true, and history always does repeat itself, maybe I am destined
for the wreck I have seen in my dreams so many times.
I
know that dopamine, noradrenalin and reduced serotonin levels in my
brain due to heavy Cocaine use throughout my years. Bringing them back
altogether is not the answer. I know you never get rid of habits you
just replace them. I know it takes 21 days to make something a habit. I
know all these things and yet I can't fix myself. I can't rid myself of
the pain in my soul that I have accumulated since birth. Nothing I do or
say can get me through. I now don't trust so I don't talk. I deal by
burying. Creating new personalities to deal with new trauma. Have
since I was a kid. People just want to lock me away. I can't have that.
I have no friends, per say. Never have. I am just real good at what I
do which is probably my downfall.
Thank you for the web site. It sounds as if you too are good at what you
do! I believe you have probably helped hundreds if not thousands. I
simply was looking for help and now it seems there may not be any for
me. I do appreciate your listening. Be well.
Sincerely,
“George”
|
Dear George:
Thank you for sharing. I wasn’t there, but
based on my previous experience with addicts, I
may be able to give you another perspective of those confusing events. First, remember that
at the time this happened you were in an altered
state caused by alcohol and cocaine use.
You saw a woman that you had liked in the past. She was glad to see you again.
You were lonely, going through withdrawals and depressed. When you went back
to your old house you found a gun and a bottle of Scotch and started drinking.
You called up the woman and wanted to meet. She seemed reluctant. She was a
married woman and a crisis counselor. She wanted you to call the crisis line but
you would not. She agreed to see you but said it would be, “on the record”
meaning it would be an official meeting in her capacity as a crisis counselor.
One of the primary duties of a crisis counselor is
to determine when a caller is a threat to themselves or others. If you are
assessed to be a threat to yourself or others, it is her duty to notify
authorities who can take you into custody for observation and keep you safe.
When she found herself in a car with a drunk who had a gun she was probably
scared to death. When her husband drove up (perhaps in a mistaken attempt to rescue her), she may
have told you to drive away, thinking to save her husband from getting shot.
(I
know that, If I were faced by a drunken, depressed client with a gun in his
hand, and he asked me if what he said would be confidential, I would say “yes,
hell yes!”) But events in a crime are not confidential.
Now we know you are a nice guy, but to the police who took you down that day and
seized your gun, you probably were considered to be an armed, drunk, possibly
suicidal addict, who was holding a woman hostage in his car. None of the
police wanted to get shot trying to free the hostage. It’s not surprising that they
would be quite forceful and rough in the
process of apprehending you. From what you say, it sounds like the world would have seen you
as guilty of kidnapping and assault with a deadly weapon. (An
assault is when you cause a person to fear for their life or safety.)
It sounds like everyone wanted you to be safe. To that end, they put you on
probation for 10 years. I will bet that the conditions included that you stay
sober and drug free. However, not realizing the extent of your addiction, they
did not insist on alcohol and drug treatment. Had they realized the extent of
your addiction, it is more likely that you would have
received the treatment, recovery education, and support that you need.
[Learn about Drug Courts.]
Neither inpatient chemical dependency treatment
(where you agree to stay at the treatment center) nor outpatient chemical dependency
treatment where you go to treatment for a few hours each day or week, requires
that you be locked up.
One of my recommendations to you was that you get outpatient treatment. The outpatient
treatment programs that I am familiar with are usually in three stages. Once you
have gone through an assessment to determine whether treatment is appropriate,
you would start State I: the intensive phase. This is usually three or four hours a day,
five days a week for about four weeks. You are there during the day and
each evening you return to your own home.
Outpatient
Stage II is a weekly 90 minute treatment group for five months.
Stage III is the
final eighteen months (a year & a half) of 90 minute treatment groups once each
month. You are required to stay clean and sober throughout treatment and you are
subject to unannounced drug screening and breathalyzer tests. Usually clients
are also required to attend 12 step groups independently outside of the official
treatment groups and to report attendance to the treatment program counselor.
The main purpose is to provide structure for your life in recovery. The 12 step
groups (such as Cocaine Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous) put you in the
fellowship of others who are recovering and who understand your weaknesses,
temptations and cravings and can help you find the strength to
overcome them. Others in those groups offer you the friendship you can find
nowhere else.
In treatment and in the 12 Step groups you would
learn that having lots of money is one of many relapse
triggers for a recovering addict. This trigger that is now threatening your recovery. Addicts need to
learn to think in new ways about money and to handle it in recovery.
You are doing what is normal for an addict. Your addiction has driven away the
clean and sober people in your life. Meanwhile you are feeling lonely and sorry for yourself and still
trying to find a way to continue to use alcohol and cocaine in a way that lets
you escape the consequences. You say that you are addicted but at the same time,
you deny that you need the treatment that has helped so many in the past. Becoming suicidal because of your life situation, you are unable to take the
help you need because you fear that it will cost you the poison that is killing you.
Get help. You are worth it. And there are a lot of people out there who will do
everything they can to help you. But you need to want the help and you need to
ask for it. Recognize that addiction is common and no longer carries the
shame and public disgrace that it once did. Hundreds of well known public
figures have been through treatment that has been widely reported in the press,
without ending their careers.
Best wishes, FE
[More
letters about cocaine users.]
"
A Cognitive-Behavioral Approach: Treating Cocaine Addiction," a report by the
National Institute on Drug Abuse.
Cocaine is
in a class of drugs called stimulants: more information.
| |
CounselingSeattle.com | |
Counselor Initials & Acronyms | |
Counseling Questions | |
Consumer Questions | |
Government Sites |
Consumer Alerts | |
Site Map | |
Resource Directory | |
Professional Organizations | |
Support Groups | |
Client Problems | |
Services for Disabled Persons | |
illegal drugs
| |
| |
To top--Cocaine Addiction and Recovery page | |
|
|