Answers to Mental Health Consumer Questions
About
Grief Over the Loss of a Daughter due to
a Controlling Son-in-Law !
Question 9:
"I need Help. But I don't even know what to ask. My only
child (34) is married to an abuser; control freak and I have not
seen or heard from my daughter in 12 years. The son-in-law saw to it
that she was cut off from all of her friends and family immediately
after they married. I have never seen my grandchildren, nor do
I know how many there are.
I am now 64 and caring
for my elderly mother; the rest of our family has died during the
past 12 years. Most of them asked me, “Why did Melissa forget me?”
They could not understand, nor do I. My daughter is not aware of
their deaths. The longer the time goes, the worse it gets. I need
support from others that have gone through or are going through the
same thing. I don't know how to cope any longer.
Please connect me to
some online support group if possible; I rarely leave the house
anymore. Can you help me? Olive."
Dear Olive:
Sorry to hear of your
distressing problem. In order to respond to you promptly, I am going
to allow myself to interpret your situation as unresolved grief over
the loss of your only daughter and the grandchildren that might
otherwise have been a part of your life.
As you request, I would recommend checking out the various on-line
grief groups that are available. Please see the "Grief, Loss &
Bereavement Support Group” section of our support group pages:
http://www.counselingseattle.com/resources/support-group2.htm
However, please be
advised that there is at least one organization that assists family
members to reunite when they have lost each other. You can
register and hope for results--both family members have to want to
find each other.
Finding or Locating Missing Family Members: The prime
purpose of The Salvation Army's Missing Person Service
is to reunite people in families who wish to find each other. The
Salvation Army reserves the right to accept or reject an application
or to assign a priority to any given request based on
reasonableness, feasibility and motive.
There are also some
online services that offer help. To find a list, just type "help
finding a missing family member" (without the quotes) into your
search engine. Also see:
Tips for
Finding Missing People on YourFamily.com.
Hope this helps.
Floyd Else, MA, LMHC, NCC,
Webmaster: http://www.CounselingSeattle.com
NOTE: If you are visiting this
page and have another opinion, other advice, or another support
group to share with Olive, please feel free to email me (see
"Contact Us," below) and I will gladly add the information. [Please
mention “Olive’s email” in the subject line or first line of your
email.]
